Junior Senator: Senior Wiener

Monday night after work I was detained until after midnight because I had to borrow Mom's car. Mine is getting part 1 of a 3 part overhaul done which should cost me well into the million$ before it's over, but I digress. I missed the Daily Show until tonight. The guest was none other than Pennsylvania's own Senator Rick Santorum (thank you Jon for this quick history). He's pushing his new book, "It Takes a Sandwich," because he's running
for re-election next year.

This guy is as conservative as they come, and more importantly, a real asshole. I have such a hard time understanding why he remains in office when that mentality of "traditional family values" being pushed down our throats by his ilk is such crap. He's living in this 50's television world where it's actually possible for a mother to say home with her children (because we know he believes that's a woman's place!!!) while the man goes out and makes an income that will actually support a family these days. He spouts out so much garbage, and people call it cuisine.

What bothers me the most, however, is that he calls himself a Christian, like so many other rich Republican bastards, and people believe it. I don't tend to do this, but here's a basic Christian belief. Check out Matthew 19: 16-30; Mark, 10: 17-31; and Luke 18: 18-30. You'll read that "It is easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the Kingdom of Heaven."

How can it be that these smug, rich bastards are spouting out their self-styled Christianity and people lap it up like it's sweet nectar? It isn't about the faith. It isn't about morality. It isn't about what's best for this country. It's because conservatives are fucking morons.

Natural Cures: They Might Kill You

Being a bookstore monkey, I've seen all sorts of dumb, silly, and just plain annoying books come and go during my tenure, and I've never given my opinion to anyone when I disapproved of the selection. There's a recent book, however, that has pushed me closer to that edge, and I've gone so far as to mention the controversy.

Late night infomercial hack, Kevin Trudeau, has a book that he has been touting called, ''Natural Cures 'They' Don't Want You to Know About.'' Originally it was only available to order through the infomercial, then it became so popular, it had to be sold through normal outlets. Now my store can't even keep the damn thing in stock.

Seeing the title, I never really gave it much thought. I figured it was the typical flavor of the week crap that the public drinks up for a while like a diet sensation, but it was never really worth noticing. We sell all kinds of religious, metaphysical, political and self-help books to people who are searching for answers that they'll never find. And as far as I'm concerned, people can waste their money on whatever fads they want because they're sheep, and there's just no stopping the steamroller of stupidity in people. Besides, it keeps the economy going. I have no bones with capitalism when it's harmless.

A week or two ago, however, a coworker pointed out a bit about it in the NY Times which made me take notice for the first time. Apparently the author is not only full of crap, but he's also been a danger to society for years, and has been in prison for fraud! The "cures" in the book could possibly do more harm than good, and unfortunately, keep the ill from getting real help - as I understand from the review. I haven't (and won't) read the book. There are several who have read it and feel it was a waste of time and money.

The title of course is silly. "They don't want you to know about" feeds the public paranoia and distrust of anyone who is actually educated or an otherwise authority on any subject. For the same reason that Bill O'Reilly is popular (he tells it like it is, especially when it isn't), people will always buy into the simplest answer no matter how complex the problem. They want "plain talk" and whatever easy way out they can get. Why people would buy into the idea that doctors have been trying to keep people in the dark about inexpensive cures to ailments is beyond me. Sure, they government is conspiring against us with an alien spacestation on the moon (I was friends with an "intelligent" couple who actually believed that one!!), but where does the mistrust end?! More importantly, why are people so willing to believe the first crackpot theories they hear and willingly dismiss what has been proven?

Aparently, in the book he legally cannot tell what many of the "cures" are, and people still aren't hip to what that means: 1) If he told you, the lawsuits would fly his way once people got sicker, and 2) HE DOESN'T HAVE ANY CURES BECAUSE HE'S A CON MAN!!

My only consolation with the popularity of this book is that at least it may thin out the herd. If a few morons die because they are too senseless to realize that cancer can't be cured without proper medical help. I know, of course, as long as I keep wearing my Eternity Ring I got no worries.

Damn Dirty Apes

I just realized that the metaphor I tried to make about getting it on with a hot woman and pushing apes along the evolutionary journey may have come across as though I want to have sex with a chimp.

All I'd like to say in response to this is I'm always up for some sweet monkey lovin'!!

...And This Is My Best Friend, Bear.

When I was a kid, every season there was a new movie or t.v. show that had either a truck driver with a dressed up companion chimpanzee, or some form of talking ape.

In USA Today I read this:

"A panel of scientists, concerned about the remote possibility of instilling human traits in animals, has recommended caution in efforts to implant embryonic stem cells in the brains of monkeys and apes."

Caution?! Aw! C'mon! Who doesn't want superintelligent monkeys running around? I mean, that's what started the whole Planet of the Apes catastrophe. Is there really anyone out there that thinks moral obligation and the very real dangers of Playing God should keep us from building a better monkey? At least let them move along the natural path of evolution that they are desperately trying to travel.

I think of it this way, if you're a man in a long term committed relationship or a marriage, and have the opportunity to get it on with a once in a lifetime hot girl, you have to at least consider it. We should at least consider putting human brain stem cells into apes. The controversy alone is worth it, but think of how cool it would be if we could replace all of the world's sports teams with chimps! There would REALLY be a market for that!

WORLD GIVE RISE TO THE PLANET OF THE APES!!

Brush with Greatness

Does anyone know if Titanic director, James Cameron, was in Harrisburg this weekend? I'm 99% sure I saw him in my bookstore. Everybody else I work with thinks so too. IF it weren't he, it was a damn good clone!

Cake and Edith, too

I've been away from this blog for about a month now. The past four weeks have been too eventful for me to take the time. Shame on me, but I've been paying closer attention to news and assorted other tasty morsels to pay attention to my own display of nonsense.

I was in NYC this past weekend as well. Sucks to be home.

Anywho... Upon reading the MSNBC site about Bush's lowest ratings yet...

"Regarding Bush’s upcoming pick to replace O’Connor on the court, moreover, the poll shows that strong majorities believe Bush would be taking a step in the right direction if he appointed a woman and someone who supports references to God in public life. But a majority also thinks that Bush would take a wrong step if he chose someone who would vote to overturn the Roe v. Wade decision that legalized abortion."

...I came to realize that the public is filled with people who are, for all intents & purposes, more superstitious than religious. They want to keep abortion legal, but they don't really want to say anything bad about God (you know, just in case)! Quite frankly, I don't really see how you can be religious and still support abortion rights. Now, I would likely catch flak for this point of view, because the idea of one supporting the legal abortion, does not mean that one would support this in her/his own inner circle. I know that it's about the rights of your own body, but if you believe in God, you believe in the soul, and you believe any kind of "taking of life" is wrong (this includes Capital Punishment).

Several years ago I started having my own doubts about God & such, but everytime I heard the name Jesus, I still nodded my head like they taught me at that Parochial school so many years ago (they did not have kindergarten then, and it was grades 1 through 8 in four classrooms!!) It was more than habit or conditioning, though, it was superstition. I'd thought for years while I was certain that the whole religion thing seemed so made up, that I'd one day piss Him off and catch one from a lightning bolt.

Well it's a powerful thing. If I had the poker face, I'd probably start a church of my own. No matter what so many people say they believe, when they're alone with their thoughts (like in a voting booth), they're sure SOMEBODY is watching them. Yeah, somebody's watching you, fool. It's you're other personality, you nut job.