STIRRRRRRR CRAZZZZZZZZY
For the past couple of weeks I've been on the job hunt. Shhhhhhh! Be vewy vewy quiet. I'm hunting cawees. While I'm not interviewing, I spend most of my time in the apartment, either searching for jobs online, or trying to keep myself sane by watching and reading news stories. Unfortunately, I haven't seen very much sunshine lately because I'm trying to avoid spending money or getting too distracted. The rain today also helped keep me in.
In the meantime, I'm going a little nuts. I've had words with my roommates cats, and I'm beginning to believe they're plotting against me. Although I'm getting a pretty good grip on the news of late, I'm losing my grip on the world at large. I'm becoming agoraphobic. Yes, that's right, I'm afraid of sweaters.
This fear piles upon a list of others that I have been collecting since childhood:
Ablutophobia- Fear of washing or bathing.
Acarophobia- Fear of itching or of the insects that cause itching.
Achluophobia- Fear of darkness.
Acrophobia- Fear of heights.
Aeroacrophobia- Fear of open high places.
Agateophobia- Fear of insanity.
Agliophobia- Fear of pain.
Agrizoophobia- Fear of wild animals.
Aichmophobia- Fear of needles or pointed objects.
Ailurophobia- Fear of cats.
Alektorophobia- Fear of chickens.
Algophobia- Fear of pain (same as Agliophobia?).
Allodoxaphobia- Fear of opinions.
Altophobia- Fear of heights (same as Acrophobia?).
Amaxophobia- Fear of riding in a car.
Amnesiphobia- Fear of amnesia.
Anglophobia- Fear of England or English culture, etc. THAT'S RIGHT SUMMER!
Anthrophobia or Anthophobia- Fear of flowers.
Anuptaphobia- Fear of staying single.
Apeirophobia- Fear of infinity.
Apotemnophobia- Fear of persons with amputations.
Arachibutyrophobia- Fear of peanut butter sticking to the roof of the mouth.
Arachnephobia or Arachnophobia- Fear of spiders.
Athazagoraphobia- Fear of being forgotton or ignored or forgetting.
Atomosophobia- Fear of atomic explosions.
Atychiphobia- Fear of failure.
Autodysomophobia- Fear of one that has a vile odor.
Automatonophobia- Fear of ventriloquist's dummies, animatronic creatures, wax statues - anything that falsly represents a sentient being.
Automysophobia- Fear of being dirty.
Autophobia- Fear of being alone or of oneself.
Aviophobia or Aviatophobia- Fear of flying.
These are my "A" phobias. For a full list of available phobias do your own search.
posted by Tim @ 9/05/2006 08:38:00 PM
2 Comments:
Tim,
While I applaud you for keeping up on world events, you must be more careful about what you're sending out onto the world-wide-web. Your roommate’s cats ARE plotting against you and YOU can't let on that you know. Otherwise they'll know that you know that you're onto them and the whole thing just spirals out of control. (Kind of like the Cold War and the arms race but with a lot more claws, hissing and furballs in the mix). You have to do what I do (I have to type quietly as there are cats nearby even now) and just say that you're living with cats that "tolerate your presence". This will drive cats’ nuts as, on the whole, they have a poor sense of innuendo. Keep it below the radar, man!! Don't worry one day soon we shall be free to live as equals, and out from under the oppressive paw of these bourgeois feline overlords, but until that day--Viva la revolution!!
(P.S.—Good Luck with the hunting of cawees. That whole process can be tricky. I know that even some famous people have had trouble with it. I believe it was Shakespeare who wrote:
“Captain of our cawees band,
FedEx is here at hand,
And the Cust. service jobs mistook by me
Pleading for an overtime fee;
Shall we their fond benefits see?
Lord, what fools these mortals be!”
Easy for you to be so secure. You have an arsenal of guns and assorted other weapons. All I have is a sqirt bottle.
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