Welcome (Drunks) To Pennsylvania

Pennsylvania has some of the most backward of liquor laws. Wine and Spirits (with the exception of a direct winery store) can only be sold in a state run store. Until recently, these State Stores held bankers hours. You just couldn't get a nice bottle of Gewurztraminer to go with your spicy little asian dish (or your meal) on a Sunday. The hours are a little better now. Still, if you want a six-pack of beer, you must go to a bar. You cannot take out more than two six-packs of beer from a bar at a time. By the way, you cannot buy any other kind of alcohol from a bar Now if you want to buy a full case of beer, you must go to a distributor. At a distributor you can buy as many cases of beer as you want for your party, but don't even think about buying a six-pack or any other spirit.

The laws continue to be specific and annoying, but as you can see, Pennsylvania drinkers are a frustrated bunch. They tend to drink hard and foolishly. A few years ago, I started seeing a number of billboards for DUI lawyers on many of the secondary roads. I thought it strange that it would be important enough of a legal need to require so many displays, but they appeared more and more often.

Tonight as I waited for a few friends at a bar called a Flinchy's on a rare Monday night get together, I fumbled around for something to read, no matter how small, and I found on the back of the establishment's pack of matches an advertisement for the Law Offices of Patrick F. (name removed so I don't get sued), Jr., LLC.

Knowing the people of Pennsylvania and the need to drink that is part of all of us, my friends were not at all surprised when I showed them this curiousity. The DUI Lawers are cleaning up in PA. But do we drink and drive because we live in Pennsylvania or... yeah, we drink and drive because we live in Pennsylvania. We're suicidal that way.