Swallow This With Your Holiday Cheer

A night or two ago, I turned on the History Channel and caught some business about the history of Christmas. It was pretty interesting in light of the whole War on Christmas, which is finally over I assume. Thanks again to all of the brave soldiers who fought in that one. I hope you did not all fight in vain, however according to the program, Christmas as we know it is less than 150 years old. As a matter of fact, the Puritans who settled early in America were against the celebrations of Christmas. There was a stronger sense of Boxing Day (lords & servants trading places, as I understand) and winter festivity (drunkeness) that the Puritans shunned in the standard celebration previous to the Victorian Age than than anything close to what we know of Santa & his reindeer.

According to the History Channel program, Christmas past is rich with activities of a not so prudish nature. Drink was in favor in previous Christmases. This is something lost in the modern tradition, of course. During the years of prohibition, I can only imagine what they would have thought of the early practice.

Now keeping with the Tuesday promise that I broke last week, we segue back into political third parties...

The Prohibition Party has been in existance since before 1872, when the presidential candidate, "Mr. Black," won 3371 votes (0.05%). The Temperance movement, however, has existed in the United States since the early 19th century. Despite how much we may believe that there are those who want to control our bodies & souls now, they have nothing on the teetotalers of a long ago age.

The Prohibition Party, a party of "Moral Values," had its strongest showing in 1892, when John Bidwell came in 4th, with almost 273,000 votes (2.3%). It never had a strong third party showing, but the numbers were a strong voice none the less, very much like the more recent Libertarian and Green Party returns. They did their damage. Of course we have all learned about the 18th Amendment (ratified January 16, 1919) and its silliness. And we thank God for the 21st Amendment (Dec. 5, 1933). I couldn't imagine being sober for 14 years, but I guess that's why God invented masturbation.

Although I would never hold to the very conservative Prohibitionist platform, the early 20th century members were important to the suffrage movement. And despite how it would seem to be oh so archaic, the Prohibition Party is still around today. According to Politics1:

"Long-time party activist Earl F. Dodge has run as the Prohibition Party's presidential nominee in [every presidential race from 1984 through 2004]. Dodge received just 208 votes in 2000 -- the party's worst electoral showing ever. The party also fields a few local candidates from time to time -- but 2002 was the first time since the 1860s that the party failed to field any candidates for any public office."

Is the movement really dead? No, the platform has some striking similarities to that of the Constitution Party. No matter how civilized we become, there will always be people trying to control you. Just don't look at the bright light or take the pellet when you hear the buzzer. You'll be all right.

This week, have a drink on me. Be thankful that another year has ended without the Earth exploding or humanity going extinct. Although Christmas is truly on it's deathbead, perhaps New Year's will survive for a few more times around, as long as we still have Dick Clark watching out for us.

Sure, change in tradition (even of a few scant years) can change the course of the cultural awareness very easily. Despite the penchant to believe that Christmas has always been as it is, tradition is a living being. It evolves. History, for this reason at least, is important. Will the way I celebrate the end of the year change to someone else's dictum? No, no, they can't take that away from me. I'll have my Champagne, my beer, and my hangover. I like to celebrate the holidays in the origninal fashion. I may even drop trousers at midnight to illustrate ringing in of the New Year.