What's your conspiracy theory?

I work in a bookstore as the sales manager. It's a fun gig... sometimes. I'm finding that as we get closer to the presidential election that those who usually hide under rocks are starting to brave the daylight to slither and crawl into my store.

One of the supervisors recently said she heard that conservative talk radio or television has been telling listeners to go into bookstores and tell them that they are not "fair & balanced." Sounds like O'Reilly has something to do with that one. At first I thought it was a joke or that the supervisor was a little paranoid. Then I heard it myself... over and over again. Each time I or one of my coworkers hear this, we take the creepy crawly to the sections where conservative books are displayed, despite the fact that so few have come out lately. For the most part, the Bush-bashers have had a field day this year. I thought that would be the end of it. I was wrong.

Now that the latest tome of silliness has come out, Unfit For Command (I refuse to link this to Amazon - look for it yourself, slimebelly), the conspiracy theorists are at it again. This book is currently the #1 best seller for the biz where I work. This is strange in itself because the publisher underestimated the reading ability of the people who would bother buying it, so they printed too few. My store has been struggling to get a few copies in each week. The distributors just don't have them. Now the paranoid minions of the conservative crapheads are being told that major book chains refuse to carry the damn thing. I wish I could just say, "Ah! You've caught us. Now go unto the world and tell the world that you're not crazy. We really are all out to get you." Unfortunately, I need to stay nice to these fools. Some kind of corporate policy or something.

Anyway, I ask you, please, if you believe in conspiracy theories, stay in a bomb shelter and don't come out until you're good and dead. It's really for your own good and everyone else's too!